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only love would do this to a person.

you have the chemicals to bring me to life
so please react me tonight
kick my pull switch
pull my kick switch
turn me on tonight
drag me back to life
throw me back into the fight
open my cage and let my rage into the night.

cant change me.

i am all these things.
all these things i am.
i am of a body no man could rule.
i am of a mind no man could fool.
i am of a spirit no man could shake.
i am of a heart no man could break.
i am of a eye no man could blind.
i am of a voice no man could find.
i am of a mouth no man could shut.
i am of a life no man could cut.
i am of a kiss no man could trust.
i am of a touch no man could rust.
i am of a Lord no man could  deny.
i am of a truth no man could lie.
all these things i am.
i am all these things.

a key to the box of the mega paradox

you can lead me away,
just know i  want just disappear.
you dont want me to say,
just know they will hear.
you force me to leave,
just know i’ll be back for you.
you have a trick up your sleave,
just know i do too.
you have the hour, the chemestry,
just know i exsist.
you have the power, the weaponry,
just know i’ll resist.
it doesnt have to be this way,
i know you know you’re wrong.
we dont all have to die today,
i know you’ve known all along.
i can make this easy,i can make this hard,
you know i wont go down with out a fight.
i know whats my right.
i will never lose hope because thats my guard.
to let go would be unothordox.
now  you’ll have me on the count of 3.
i live from dying is my paradox.
now you have me-
-where you want me.
They thrash mercilessly at the door.
            You cower in the corner, armed with a well-used axe and a rifle loaded with a single bullet incase you decide to abort mission. Everyone has turned into a flesh eater, a real life zombie, no thanks to the notorious Vikki Varlow Virus.
            You are the last one in Portland, perhaps the world, with a beating heart. You were immune to the virus when it went airborne, and when it tainted drinking water. You don’t know if you’d be affected by a bite, but why take chances?
            The hairs on your shaking arms stand straight in fear, and you try to control your sobs as the flesh eaters continue to wail and throw their filthy,decomposing bodies at the elevator door. You let out a gasp as the elevator drops down a few floors, one more and you would have been open season for the flesh eaters. Your young eyes take in the darkness. It’s gotten quiet now.
You think about how all this mayhem started two weeks ago with eleven year old Vikki Varlow, the cursed illness’s origin. The Vikki Varlow Virus is relentless, for twenty-four hours it ravages its victim’s body, stealing the life and then bringing them back as a flesh eater. No one knows why this happens. It just does.
            You rest your aching head on your knees and pray to a god you barely believe exists anymore. Memories flicker in your mind one by one, like a reel of film, memories of what seems like centuries ago, your little sister’s birthday at Oaks Park, the time busy mom stayed home to take care of you when you had flu last year, hanging out with your friends, and going fishing with your old man-you didn’t catch anything besides cold and his gaudy old fishing hat,but it was the best day of your life. Life was great then.
            Now look at you:scared, cold and alone, crying in an elevator at Lloyd Center Mall, a place you once used to hang out with friends but is now a hell crawling with flesh eaters. You push away the thought of your family out there in the wreckage, flesh-crazed,
and covered in the blood of their last meal. The cold realization that in order to survive you must behead them makes your stomach hot.
            You curse yourself for being immune. You pound your fists against the walls until hungry moans approach to investigate, you stop in frustrated fear. Now you have nothing to distract you from the scenario of being grabbed by skeleton fingers, torn apart and feasted upon, it makes your skin crawl.
            Your mind races with possible strategies to get out,but they all crash and burn the same way: each plan ends with, “when I get out I’ll go to…”
Where will you go?
Everyone has turned.
            Your heart jumps as your cell phone beeps. Someone has texted you. Can flesh eaters text? Pure joy seizes you as you read every word three times. You pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming. Your eccentric uncle is alive in Alaska. No one has turned there. They are making a cure and need you. Hope swells within your chest like a balloon. The remedy to this damnation flows through your veins in your blood-your heart pumps it by the second.
You are the cure.
You must survive no matter what.

Like a little kid on Christmas morning, I greedily forced the new Cd from the case and placed it in my stereo. Turning the volume high, I am unprepared for the awesomeness pulsing through my headphones (mom won’t let me play my music loud and free). I am taken back by the use of keyboards and clever rhyming. I can’t stop myself from dancing foolishly to the beats in the privacy of my room.

            Tokio Hotel’s 2009 released album ‘Humanoid’ is not your older brother’s get high or die type of music, it’s totally something else, there is honestly no other album out there to compare ‘Humanoid’ to (and Patrick, I mean from this century).

            Tokio Hotel is without a doubt a genre of its own. The album ‘Humanoid’ is the next generation of pop-alternative-rock music. They’ve really out done themselves this time. From their hip-shaking track ‘Noise’ to their more slowed-down, heart melting song ‘Zoom into me’ you will never stop listening.

            You’ll fall in love with them all over again. Their album ‘Humanoid’ will render you speechless and wondering if ‘Human connect to human’ is about sex, and how do they come up with this stuff. They’ve really set themselves apart from any other band. Even if you hate them, lets face it, you can’t stop thinking about them, especially lead singer Bill Kaulitz. The album has a matrix feel to it, (could it be because they work with The Matrix?)They’ve really matured as a band.

            Tokio hotel’s ‘Humanoid’ is revolutionary, don’t believe me? Check them out! And if you don’t, a race of alien robots from another chaotic galaxy will elimenate mankind. (Okay, that won’t happen but what if?) What I’m saying people is that Tokio Hotel has the potential to be great, (they just need to discover at what). I give ‘Humanoid’ a 9 out of 10 (they still have work to do).

It’s Automatic!

The first time you heard Tokio Hotel’s heart felt track ‘Automatic,’ how did you visualize the music video? Did you imagine Bill, Tom, Gustav and Georg driving in separate sport cars in the dessert? Did you picture Tokio Hotel performing around wreckage? How about two robots fighting? If so, then you have phsychic powers  because that is exactly what happens in the music video for Automatic.

            The song itself is amazing and catchy, but the video is something to pay close attention to. It wasn’t until the end that I realized that one of the robots was a girl and when I watched the video a third time I realized that the song and the video do connect. The robot couple fighting is kind of sweet and takes the song’s meaning to a new level.

            The music video for Automatic brings me back to the theme of the album. What is the meaning behind Humanoid? How do all the songs tie together? And what’s up with bill dressing so dramatic (what’s that on his jacket? Fur? Feathers? I don’t want to know.)

            Anyways it’s a great music video. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Beautiful soul,you
sit brooding across from me,

i want you to smile.

distant lovers in the same room


(a haiku helps when your heart is broken.)

hello?! anyone home?

Let’s play a guessing game. I’ll give you five clues and then you guess what I’m talking about. Its moody, it gets zits, it takes the city bus to school, it likes to rebel and it talks during class. You’ve probably guessed by now that I am talking about the typical teenager. I must say, being a teenager in America during modern times can be pretty enjoyable (though rough).

            What I like about youth culture, a.k.a being a teenager, is being independent. You get to dress the way you want without your parents interfering. You can take the bus to school, when you want to go to the mall or to a friend’s house. You depend less on your parents and more on your gut feeling. And looking forward to getting a job and driving when you turn sixteen is pretty cool too. Independence makes you feel like you are your own person and not some one’s little robot.

            Another thing I like about being a teenager is learning who you are as a person while being in the phase between child and adult. You have new responsibilities but they’re not too challenging or an insult to your strengths. I like finding out what I’m good at, what are my fixable weaknesses and discovering my potential. I think discovering your taste in entertainment, food, fashion, and people (friendships\relationships) is really important during your youth. Life is much like a novel, building character cannot happen at the very beginning or very end. Having a good character can help you have a great future. Of course, you will soon see that there is something blocking our development.

            If I could change one thing about youth culture it would be the relationship between teens and the future. A lot of adults have forgotten what its like to be a teenager in America because they say our only problems are pimples, not having a date Friday night and what’s to watch on TV, this may be true for the most part but what they don’t realize is that the times have gotten tougher. Not only do we have to worry about getting jumped, report cards and looking like a loser amongst peers, but we are the next set of adults and we all hope we will fix –not ruin further- this one planet we have.

            What makes this harder is that our schools are low funded because of bad test scores, there are bad test scores because we have old textbooks, out dated computers and sometimes the teachers aren’t motivating and we have these things because of low funding (I think you get the picture). There are evil people out there that are telling us that we don’t need to succeed in school, we’re stupid enough to believe that we can become rappers or athletes and we’ll be set for life. They want us to fail so when we grow up they’ll have us to work cheap labor while their kids get the top-notch jobs, make loads of money and live in the safe neighborhoods. Everything would change if we learned not to give up, it seems like everyone is doing it before they even try. If you give up on a test, you are giving up on your future. Let me make this clear,

Effort + test =funding for education =success.

Now doesn’t that make sense?



anyone out there?


everyones dead out there.

the dawn brings a new day,

a crimson sky to lead our way.


no one out there.


we did this.